He Cares

By my last couple of posts, you can guess that my life hasn't been easy lately. I know that the Bible tells us that in this world we will have tribulations, but lately it has seemed ridiculous. However, in the midst of everything, I see God's hand and see Him working...even in the small things.

I lost most of my plants due to Hurricane Ike. However, this morning when I went out to look at them, my plumeria (which I thought was completely dead) has three very tiny leaves. He does care. He does provide. Even in the small things.

Purging

Last night I talked with a sweet friend about our Lord and what He is doing in each of our lives. We started out describing it as pruning (see yesterday's post)...and then stripping...but finally we decided that purging was the best term.

If you think about it, when you have the stomach flu, the whole nausea and stomach pain leading to the vomiting is horrible. Sometimes it feels like you are actually going to die, and then you vomit and suddenly relief comes. It's like your whole body relaxes and you rest.

Sometimes what God is doing in our lives feels like that. It's painful, and sometimes we may feel as though we would rather die. But the truth is that if we allow the Lord to complete His work in us...the other side is better. We will come out on the other side closer to Him...more resembling Him...and with a faith that is stronger than we have previously known.

And so Lord, we thank You. We thank You for Your leading. We thank You for Your discipline. Your rod and Your staff...they really do comfort us.

Pruning

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." John 15:1-2

Going through a pruning process is never easy. I know...I'm in the midst of one. God takes away or calls us to give up things that at the time seem so dear to us. But ultimately, it is for our good. He has a plan, and during the painful portions of that plan, He longs for us to turn to Him.

As the year comes to a close, is God asking you to give up "idols" and return to Him? Is He knocking on the door of your heart desiring to bring you closer to Him?

Mornings...

Some days I make really good coffee...some days I don't.

Houston Project

Every year my church does a what essentially is a mission trip within our city. Hundreds of church members go out to other churches, apartment complexes, and community centers to spend the early evening of every day sharing the love of Christ with people. As we spend our final days preparing for what is destined to be another amazing year...God is so faithful, I am realizing more and more how different Christians can look. Yes, we are unified through Christ, but some have tattoos, some have piercings, some have even have blue hair. I pray that as I go into this week God would continue to grow me and help me to truly know how big his love is.

After these things I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no one could number, of all the nations, tribes, peoples, and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed with white robes, with palm branches in their hands and crying out with a loud voice, saying, "Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!" - Revelation 7:9-10

Believe ME

I'm not exactly sure why it happens. So often I blame it on being fallen...but the enemy attacks and doubt creeps in. I start to question God's path for me. I start to wonder if this is His best...surely there's got to be a way...a path that hurts less...and then He gently reminds me to believe Him...to trust Him.

I watch you looking out across the raging water
So sure your only hope lies on the other side
You hear the enemy that's closing in around you
And I know that you don't have the strength to fight
But do you have the faith to stand and...

Believe Me now
Believe Me here
Remember all the times I've told you loud and clear
I am with you and I am for you
So believe Me now
Believe Me now

I am the One who waved my hand and split the ocean
I am the One who spoke the words and raised the dead
And I've loved you long before I set the world in motion
I know all the fears you're feeling now
But do you remember who I am?
Do you..

Believe Me now
Believe Me here
Remember all the times I've told you loud and clear
I am with you
And I am for you

So believe Me now
Believe it's true
I never have, I never will abandon you
And the God that I have always been
I will forever be
So believe Me now

I am the God who never wastes a single hurt that you endure
My words are true, and all My promises are sure
So believe Me now
Believe Me now

Reminder

So often, I need to be reminded of the words of Eleanor Roosevelt,
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Postcards

One of my friends always sends me a postcard when ever he goes out of town. I've gotten postcards from Chicago, Boston, Kentucky, San Francisco, and many other cities. They always bring a smile to my face.

Busted

I'm currently doing a rotation in a prison hospital, and I often forget the amount of security that surrounds me.

Well, yesterday I was walking down the hall, and I slipped on something and completely busted (I now have a huge bruise on my knee and a second on my hip to prove it). There was a gentleman and a housekeeping lady in the hall. They were both very sympathetic, and I assured them that I was okay. I really thought I'd had come out okay. Whew...only two people saw.

...until I began walking by the wardens' station. And they asked me if I was okay. Just then I realized that there are cameras everywhere in the prison hospital and that they had seen me fall on camera. Yay!

So there's probably now a YouTube video of me falling in the middle of the hall...just call me grace!

To cut or not to cut...that is the question!

Right now is the time when third year medical students begin seriously considering what they are going to do in their future. Is it going to be surgery, pediatrics, internal medicine, anesthesiology, radiology, or something like aerospace medicine? Some know right off the bat. It's easy because they've wanted to be an obstetrician their whole life or the only rotation they've enjoyed is psychiatry.

And then there's the rest of us...unsure of exactly where we are supposed to go and what God has planned. As I talked with a classmate this afternoon, she made the comment that she imagines it's easier to make the decision without having to think about a husband or children. I happen to disagree. I think it would be easier to make a decision if I did have those to think about.

My dean wants my personal statement for residency applications in T-minus 7 days. I've tried to write it like 20 times already, but I can't get past the first paragraph.

Loving when blind is not true love.
True love is seeing the faults and loving nonetheless.
- Anonymous

Maybe a little too excited...

My printer quit working several months ago, and I'd been stalling on buying a new one. I gotten by with using the printers at the hospital and the library.

That's all changed now. I bought a new printer on Monday night. I went intending to buy a cheap printer that just printed on paper. I didn't need any fancy scanner, copier, photo printer contraption. I just wanted a printer. Well...I walked out with a fancy scanner, copier, photo printer contraption...and I couldn't be happier. I'm in love with my new printer...if that's possible. It's glorious. Seriously! It's beautiful. It does exactly what I ask it to, and the pictures are crystal clear.

I'm doing the happy dance. I'll be doing the happy dance for a while. My new printer makes me happy...really happy!

Fond memories

The other day I stopped by a very popular fast food restaurant to purchase a beverage. The line for the drive through was way too long so I decided to pop in and purchase my beverage at the counter. I ordered and was given my cup. I walked over to the soda fountain and realized that I would have to wait a minute or two because someone was ahead of me and she was making a suicide soda (you know...where you mix the different soda flavors together). She was very precise while making her concoction and would taste it after each addition. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself as I remembered doing the very same thing as a child. What made me smile even more was that the lady appeared to be in her eighties. Childlike innocence makes me smile...even in someone who isn't technically a child.

Survey

Rules for the game:
1. Put these rules at the beginning of your post.
2. Answer each question (see below) in your post.
3. Tag five people at the end.

What was I doing 10 years ago?
May 1998...I was finishing up my freshman year of college.

Five things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. Tithe and offerings
2. Pay off my student loans
3. Buy a house
4. Put a large chunk into savings/ investments
5. Start a philanthropic organization to help pay for medical care for those who can't afford it

Five jobs that I have had:
1. Lifeguard
2. Floral arranger
3. Resident assistant
4. NICU registered nurse
5. Neuroanatomy and Behavioral Science tutor

Three of my habits:
1. Checking email frequently, but responding infrequently.
2. Drinking coffee every morning
3. Taking my shoes off the minute I come home or enter someone's house.

Five places I have lived
1. Overland Park, Kansas
2. Azle, TX
3. Waco, TX
4. Dallas, TX (and surrounding cities)
5. Galveston, TX

Five people I want to get to know better (most people have already been named)
1. Bethany
2. Keziah
3. The Hoppers
4.
5.

In that silence

My heart has been heavy today. Actually, it's been heavy the past several days. I've been crying out to God not knowing what to do, but then this evening, I just sat there. After I finished reading His Word and was reminded that He created the world and it can never be moved by anyone but Him, I just sat in silence. It was in that silence that I felt His peace flooding my soul. It was in that silence that I was reminded of His love and began to sing,

Your love, oh Lord, reaches to the heavens
Your faithfulness, stretches to the skies
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains
Your justice flows like the ocean's tide
And I will lift my voice to worship You, my King
And I will my strength in the shadow of Your wings
Your love, oh Lord, reaches to the heavens...

Breaking the rules...

Last night I broke my own rule. I still can't believe I did it. It was something that I held to so tightly. It was something that I actually prided myself on. Maybe it's a good thing...I shouldn't have prided myself in it in the first place.

I'm still quite shocked and don't know if I can type it...I asked people to be my friend on facebook.

Happiness is...

...finding your missing pager in the middle of the ER.

Becoming...

Somewhere between walking into Gross Anatomy for the first time and eventually walking across the stage as you're granted a Doctorate in Medicine, it hits you...and you realize that you are, in fact, becoming a doctor. You find yourself talking with interns, residents, and attendings as though they are colleagues. You begin to start conversations with "the literature says" or "according to a recent study." You realize you are so very far from knowing it all, and yet, you also know that you will continue to push yourself to determine what is best for your patients. You turn from seeing your patients as a diagnosis to seeing them as individuals...people with families...people with jobs...people who do so much more than just lie in the hospital bed in front of you. Becoming a doctor is a process, and I thank God for the opportunity to go through this process.

I wish I was asleep...

About an hour and a half ago, Miss Kitty jumped on my desk and proceeded to knock down several items while she was up there. I woke in panic mode and have been unable to get back to sleep. Tomorrow...or rather today could be a very long day.

Just a reminder

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything that is beautiful; for beauty is God's handwriting...Welcome it in every fair face, in every fair sky, in every fair flower and thank God for it. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson