Beautiful

A man came up to me today and said, "I just wanted to let you know that you are stunningly beautiful."

I looked at him and then looked at the floor as I mumbled, "Thank you."

And then he put his hand on my arm (which freaked me out at first), and I looked him directly in the eye, and he said, "Believe me. You are stunningly beautiful."

And that was about it. The man left.

Life imitating...work.

For the past five and a half weeks, I've been on my psychiatry rotation. I've dealt with patients with a myriad of diagnoses. Some live with their families or on their own. Some live in nursing homes or group homes. Some did live with their families or on their own will have to move into a nursing or group home upon discharge. That's always hard to take. It means that the families of these people can no longer care for them. It's a difficult decision but one that sometimes has to be made.

As I've been dealing with this regarding my patients at work, I've also been dealing with this in my family. My grandmother has some form of dementia. We don't know what it is...she refuses to let them do any "tests." Her health is failing, too...to the point that my grandfather took her to the emergency room this last week and she was put in the hospital for several days. Unfortunately, my grandmother became very agitated at the thought of going to the big University Medical Center and convinced my grandfather to take her to the smaller local hospital. They still don't know what's wrong. My grandmother knows my name when I call, but if I call her in the morning and again in the evening, by the evening, often she has completely forgotten the morning phone call. She is confused and emotionally labile much of the time. My grandfather is at a loss of what to do.

I have an aunt with a mental illness who regularly goes off of her medication. She stopped again a couple of weeks ago and disappeared for a few days causing us to file a missing persons report with the police. She has reached the point where she can no longer live alone. For the past several years, she's lived in a retirement/assisted living community. That's really no longer feasible. She needs someone to administer her medications to her twice a day...every day. How do you tell an adult that they essentially need a babysitter?

My uncle with frontotemporal dementia had to take early retirement. He and my aunt just sold their dream house to move into an apartment because he can't function like he used to. He no longer drives and just doesn't have the ability to perform many of the activities he used to love.

So live is imitating work right now...I don't like it, but I know God has it in His hands and even though I don't always feel like He hears my prayers...I know He does.

Journey to Nineveh

Has God ever prompted you to do something you didn't want to do...something that was not in your original plan and yet you can't seem to get away from it?

Yeah...sometimes God sends me to Nineveh, too.

God provides.

When I moved out of my old apartment, I had to leave my beloved hibiscus plants behind. I had three of them in various colors, and I so much enjoyed watching them bloom and taking care of them. Unfortunately, since they were on my roof top terrace and weighed over 150 pounds each with the soil and pots, they had to be left behind. I moved into a smaller apartment. I still have plants but not as many and only on my front porch, which doesn't have room to accommodate a hibiscus.

But God provides. Outside my bedroom window is a beautiful hibiscus! The apartment complex planted it. Every morning when I wake up, all I have to do is gaze out the window to be reminded that God provides...in all things He provides.

I'm scared...

I rarely get scared. Anxious...yes...but not scared. I lived in the ghetto in Dallas...the ghetto! Seriously, my neighbors told me not to go out at night and if I had to for any reason to make sure that one of them escorted me to and from my car.

But this is different.

Evidently some girl gave out my phone number instead of hers...and now this random guy keeps calling me. I've tried answering and telling him that I am not the person he's looking for. I've tried letting it go to voicemail...which I then realized was a mistake because I say, "It's a beautiful day in Galveston." He's called multiple times, and honestly, I'd really like him to stop. I have no interest in talking with him or meeting him.

Needless to say, I will be locking my door tonight using all three locks.

Today I felt like a doctor.

It doesn't happen very often. In fact, I can probably count the number of times it's happened on one hand, but today...I felt like a doctor.

Exciting!

The Baylor men's basketball team hasn't made an appearance in the NCAA tournament since 1988...until now!

Go Bears!

Truth from one of my faculty

It's hard to walk south when God's pointing your feet north.

Benefits of the short white coat

1. It keeps me warm. As a person who tends to become chilled easily, I appreciate the added layer of warmth.

2. It protects my clothes. My white coat, which can easily be bleached, has taken many hits and successfully saved my clothing. It's held up to several cups of coffee, sodas, condiments, and sauces like a champ.

3. There are many pockets. Pockets are great. They hold stuff. However, putting an overabundance of items in my pants pockets leaves me looking...well, less than attractive. Fortunately, I am saved by the pockets in white coat. My pockets hold things like my cell phone, wallet, pens, pencils, highlighters, trauma shears, notepads, BMI wheel, pregnancy wheel, tuning fork, reflex hammer, pen light, several books, extra paperwork, and sometimes my pager. Wow! No wonder it's so heavy.

and 4. The length tells people my status. They know when they see my short white coat that I am still a student. It's quite helpful. They don't ask me questions that they know I can't answer or expect me to be able to write orders.

In just 16 short months, I'll have to trade in my short white coat for a long one...with fewer pockets...what will I do?

Little annoyances...

Does anyone else get annoyed by the amount of junk mail that doesn't get filtered by the various email servers?

No CV needed

I've been working on my CV (curriculum vitae). It's similar to a resume except more focused on education, leadership, research, and community service. Anyway, as I've been typing it, I've realized that I'm racking my brain trying to think of every little thing of done...every time I've lead an organization or group or I've helped someone. I feel like I'm having to prove that I'm good enough on paper...and then it hit me. Yes, for school...for work...I have to be "good enough" on paper, but isn't wonderful that for God...I will never be "good enough"...He saved me by His grace alone.

For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God. Not by works, lest any man should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

FYI

There is nothing more attractive than hearing a godly man pray or seeing him play with children.

It's all about love.

I spent the morning working in the OB clinic for the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. As I met each patient, listened to her story, and completed the exam, the same thought ran through my head, "These women need love." I only hope that I was able to demonstrate some amount of love to them during my short time with each one.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal, And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing...And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3, 13

Happy Valentine's Day!

We will...we will...rock you!

1 9-volt battery = $2
CD-radio alarm clock = $40
1 month's electricity = $50
Waking up to Queen = PRICELESS


Go ahead and sing your favorite Queen song. You know you want to.

Small Indulgences

Okay...so I'll admit it...I like Big Red, and every now and then, I just have to have one. Maybe it goes back to my childhood or my years at Baylor, but I just love that bubble gummy taste.

Small Changes

Earlier this week, I made a small change in my life. Really, it's nothing big. It doesn't take me any time, and it doesn't cost or save me any money. However, it's made a huge impact on my outlook. It's changed my daily focus, and I feel like God is closer.

Is God asking you to make a small change in order to draw you closer to Him?

Trying something new...

I'm stubborn.

I'm stubborn, and I usually fight God on His path for my life. But I'm going to try something new. I feel God leading me down a road, so I'm going. I'm going to run with abandon. I'm not going to question Him. I'm going to trust Him.

Trust in the Lord with all you heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.
-- Proverbs 3:5-6

Something new and exciting

I bought chocolate covered blueberries last week. I'd never had them before, but I will definitely have them again. :o)

Quick Obedience

I had the honor of spending the weekend with one of my college roommates and her family. She and her husband have two beautiful little girls. Anna is 22 months, and Abigail is 2 and a half months. Needless to say that their house is full of activity. Catching up with Angela was fantastic, and her husband even took care of both of the girls so that we could get in some "girl-time." It's amazing to see friends grow up. I knew Angela when we used to fight about her running late or me being way too obsessive on how clean the house needed to be...but through the years we've both grown.

While I was visiting, I got to experience quite a bit...the girls' bedtimes, mealtimes, playtime, and even Angela and Ryan's style of disciplining. I must admit that I had to applaud my friend. Even at the age of 22 months, I can tell that godly principles are being instilled in Anna. One of the phrases I heard was "Mommy and Daddy desire quick obedience just as your Father in heaven desires quick obedience." Amazing...bringing godly principles down to an almost 2 year old's level.

God does desire quick obedience.

To obey is better than sacrifice. - 1 Samuel 15:22

He desires quick obedience from us, too.

Odd...

I'm usually in the hospital 5-6 days per week. I work with residents and attendings most of those days. I even have a couple of friends who are residents. And yet, when I get sick, I don't have anyone to call.